The Trigger Has Been Pulled

I am done with injections! 26 of them in total. I've been stabbed too many times to count since I was ordered for a blood draw every time I went to our clinic. If I look back on my calendar and count how many appointments we had in a 10 day period, the answer would be 6. Add a couple incompetent nurses to the mix and you've got yourself  a number too high to count with some nice bruises on your arms to match.

On Friday we had our first follicle scan and we were so impressed! Not only were there quite a few, but my left ovary did in fact give us some follicles! I actually cried when I watched her swing the wand over to the left. Right away we saw two huge follicles and we were elated! I couldn't believe my eyes! I was not fully convinced that ovary even worked! I felt incredibly proud of my body. Things were happening at the right speed and I was responding beautifully. I was ready to begin my cetrotide injections so they gave me my first dose right there in the office. Cetrotide was the medication designed to keep me from naturally ovulating the follicles that were growing and I was to take it every day while continuing to stimulate growth.

The blood draw aftermath

When we went back for our next scan on Sunday, the Nurse told me that there were only about 5 that had grown in two days and they were almost big enough to trigger. That scared the living shit out of me. Excuse my french here, but our goal is to have as many good quality eggs as possible. When we go from up words of 14 follicles down to 5 your heart almost falls out of your asshole. The "trigger" shots tell my body its time to ovulate and 36 hours later I am in for retrieval. If we were to trigger on Monday with only a few follicles looking big enough for all of this, that would cut our chances tremendously. I mean, I logically knew that I couldn't discredit the ones that were lagging behind. I knew I would continue to stimulate and even change doses if necessary to ensure optimal growth. I also knew that size doesn't necessarily equate to bad quality or that they are incapable of fertilization. I was hormonal, exhausted, starting to bloat, and obviously a little overwhelmed. Everyone reassured me that everything was looking fantastic and there was nothing to worry about. My blood levels kept coming back in the clear and we were right on track. I did have a melt down though and the rest of the day was basically a fog. It didnt help that this was the visit that required help from the anesthesiologist to get my blood drawn properly.

Luckily, the next two scans showed a lot of growth with our follicles. Finally, we were given the green light to trigger at 8:30 tonight. I am even lucky enough to only take one injection to trigger! We spent a lot of money on a compound mixture that would be given to me just in case my estrogen levels were too high but everything looks great and we won't need to use it. Insurance denied coverage of this injection so we had to pay for it out of pocket. Im only slightly peeved we have it and it will go to waste but I'm happier knowing my body is handling this well.

We are set for our retrevial on Thursday morning. This is exactly what we had planned for. Knowing the whole time that this day could come sooner or later depending on my body's reaction gave me a lot of stress. I held on tight and braced myself for delays since every cycle previous was prolonged by 5-7 days. I'm honestly still in a little shock that everything has gone so smoothly. Isaac finally takes a part in all of this by taking one pill tomorrow morning and giving the clinic his sample when we get there on Thursday. For me, I'll finally be able to sleep in a little bit and give my belly a rest. The bloating and bruising are all too real.

I can't believe the stimming days are over! No more injections for the cycle. Over all, the stimming process was way easier than the Femara and Clomid cycles. I expected insane mood swings and hot flashes but really, some bloating and a few headaches are all that ever showed. I've slept well and kept my stress levels reasonably low. I mean, this is a whirl wind. No doubt about it! However, before this process even started Isaac and I agreed to do everything we could to keep the triggers at bay and stay stress free. We definitely cancelled plans, took extra naps, and have even avoided social media dumpster fires (you know, my favorite thing).  I know that acupuncture can help ease the side effects of IVF and I wouldn't be surprised if that is what is helping the most. I'll continue to go up until one of our beautiful little embryos is reunited with me.

We will know pretty much right away how many eggs have been retrieved and how many fertilized. By transfer day, we will know the total amount of embryos that made our cycle complete.

You know, there was a minute that I tried to detach myself from the outcome of this working the first time. But, as the days go on, I decided that hoping with all I have can't hurt me any more than the reality of having to do this again. So for the last couple of weeks we have given all of our energy into staying positive and trusting that now is finally our time.

It's surreal that we are here and doing IVF. Both of us knew deep down when we had our very first meeting with Dr. Conway that none of the smaller scale treatments would work for us. We remained as optimistic as we could. Hell, an IUI cycle tricked us and we thought our fate had taken a turn.

Here we are though. 35 hours before egg retrieval. Almost pregnant, if there is such a thing.

I am excited, nervous, and ready to nurture and protect our little embabies.